We know that many of you (in the northeast) are staring out windows only to see varying shades of gray and white. The snow is piling up. The wind is howling. Flights are canceled. Kids are getting stir crazy. You get the idea. So with that in mind, we offer up this light-hearted Alternative Facts fare to hopefully bring a wry smile to your face.
Well now, Kellyanne Conway has lately conceived
Of a new understanding of what to believe
When the truth gives you heartburn, don’t worry, relax
You can always resort to ALTERNATIVE FACTS!
Oh it works for the Donald and all of his hacks
As they go ’bout promoting their retrograde acts
Don’t fret if your documentation is lax
You can always get by with ALTERNATIVE FACTS!
Don’t fear all those women with signs on their backs
The straight and the queer, the whites and blacks
You can trivialize them with snide little cracks
And wash them away with ALTERNATIVE FACTS!
Just as loggers might swing an alternative ax
And fell a great tree with alternative whacks
When the truth won’t cooperate, try some new tacks
We live in an age of ALTERNATIVE FACTS!